My Braces & Glasses Obsession

When I was in sixth grade I was obsessed with braces. Both for my teeth and one for my back. My friend had scoliosis and got to wear a back brace all the time. I also had a cousin who wore one.

I wanted to wear one. I thought it looked so cool. It was big and metal and made her walk perfectly straight. When we had a nurse check us one day in the locker room for scoliosis, I was thrilled when she said my spine was slightly crooked.

Unfortunately it wasn't crooked enough for a brace.

I also wanted to wear braces so badly on my teeth, that I'd wedge a folded up piece of paper in between my front teeth to move them apart. It would work, but they'd always go back to normal. I did end up getting braces when I was 28 and it was not fun!

Another thing I desperately wanted was to wear glasses. It turned out I have an eye problem called Thygesons that was diagnosed in sixth grade. A few times a year my cornea will grow tiny bumps on it making it painful to blink and blurring my vision. For years I went to a local hospital eye clinic where med students would line up to look at my eyes (sometimes after lunch and they'd have tuna fish-breath). It was a very uncommon disease.

Since my prescription changed almost daily when I had a flare-up, the doctor didn't know what prescription to give me. So he gave me a pair of bi-focals to wear to school.

His nephews bi-focals. Huge metal frames. U-G-L-Y!

I had no idea how to use them and was quickly made fun of. Eventually I got my own glasses. Huge plastic frames that took up most of my face. I hated them so much (we were too poor to afford anything hip), that I yanked the temple off them and told my mom they broke in gym class.

Afterwards I felt terrible because I learned the temple would cost $28 and she didn't have it. My grandma bought me another one. I didn't break that one.