Paranoid

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We have an alarm system that I'm still getting used to. I've never lived in a house with one before, though I've set off a few cleaning houses.

Last night around 2:00am the monitor in our room beeped telling me the outside door had been opened. I jumped up in bed and reached for my husband. "Did you hear that?" I asked, my heart racing.  He wasn't there. It was him letting our dog, Speedy, out. It took me a while, but I fell back to sleep.

A few hours later I had a dream that my husband, Mike, went downstairs to check out a noise. I suddenly heard him screaming and fighting someone off. He yelled for me to hit the POLICE button on the alarm. In my dream I didn't know which one it was and it was too dark.

Again, I woke up with my heart pounding, sure there was someone downstairs.

Mike slept next to me, not a care. I kept glancing over my shoulder to make sure the red light on the alarm box was on.

Suddenly I heard a noise, like someone walked into our creaky dining table. My heart thumped loudly and I froze. Slowly I crept out of bed and to the bedroom door. I opened it and tip-toed into the hallway, listening. I didn't hear anything and after a few minutes I climbed back into bed.

Just as I started to doze again, I heard the noise again. This time I was sure there was someone downstairs who, somehow, had gotten through our motion sensor. Just as I was about to investigate again, I heard the noise, louder this time.

It was Mike.

He was farting in his sleep.

Comments

Anonymous said…
What a night! That is hilarious!!
March 31, 2010 at 11:12 AM
Pat Tillett said…
That's too funny...
Dreams are great, I just wish I could remember more about them.
March 31, 2010 at 12:14 PM
Hannah said…
OMG! Thanks for the laugh. It's it funny how our minds play tricks on us once we have something ( an alarm) that we never had before. Hope you sleep better tonight. :-)
March 31, 2010 at 12:48 PM
DL Hammons said…
Some people talk in their sleep.
Others walk in their sleep.

And still others...well...you get the picture. :)

Great story!
March 31, 2010 at 4:22 PM
Jeff King said…
My dog will let me know if onyone is around... not to metion inside, that's why i have a dog--needless to say i sleep in peace.
March 31, 2010 at 6:42 PM
Raine Chasing said…
ROFL. OMG. That's hilarious, but not too far from home. I'm the same way. Every noise I hear I freak out (mostly when Jer is out of town), especially if it's loud. Jer sleeps through anything, but he will wake himself up sometimes farting. LOL
April 1, 2010 at 8:24 AM
Janna Leadbetter said…
Ohhhhhhhh! You had me. I was nervous and panicked with you, and then what a laugh! Plus, I can relate. My Mike does that in sleep, too. ;)
April 1, 2010 at 3:39 PM
Lillian Robinson said…
I'm laughing! We have an alarm on the basement door. The wind blew it open once when it wasn't latched. Scared me to death!

We have a driveway alarm. Seemed like every time Mr J was away after dark, it decided to keep going off for no reason. It got unplugged.
April 1, 2010 at 11:33 PM
Melanie Hooyenga said…
ROFL!! This is totally something I would do.
April 4, 2010 at 10:41 PM
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