Getting to Know You Question

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What makes you feel guilty?

I always feel guilty when I close my bedroom door to write. My son almost always ends up crying because he's not with me (he's with my husband, though). I feel like I should be playing with him all day long. I also feel guilty when he wants to play and I'm either busy cleaning up, or trying to do something on the computer.

Comments

Anissa said…
Last week, just before pre-registration for preschool, I had a huge bout of guilt hit. I couldn't stop thinking, "Why am I trying to finish this novel when my baby is still home? He'll be in school in August. I need to savor every moment with him." Serious freak-out guilt that hit around 1:00AM. I think I'm just sad that the time goes by so quickly.

Taking that writing time for myself is definitely a source of guilt. I try to remind myself that time for me is not a bad thing. It keeps me sane.
February 23, 2010 at 9:04 AM
Tara said…
I feel guilty about everything. Seriously. I even feel guilty when someone else does something wrong--it's a wonder I didn't take the fall for everything in school/home as a kid, because I always even looked/acted guilty even when it wasn't me, lol.
February 23, 2010 at 9:10 AM
Tess said…
I relate to this too well.

but, what are we offering our children if we don't fulfill our own dreams? I believe, when we take time for ourselves, we teach them that moms are people with real hopes and aspirations and wants.

that is a good thing.
February 23, 2010 at 9:44 AM
Tamika: said…
I can relate. My three year old, comes and pulls my arm- "Come play Mommy you can bring your computer too!"
February 23, 2010 at 11:10 AM
Roxy said…
Guilt comes with being a mom. It's just part of the job. I always think that if we spend time each day with our kids, do the chores that require doing, and show our husbands we love them, we're entitled to a little personal time.
February 23, 2010 at 12:31 PM
Christina Lee said…
YeaH that mommy guilt is so strong, right?
February 23, 2010 at 12:46 PM
Shannon O'Donnell said…
Mommy guilt is a powerful thing, and it doesn't take much to set it off. I'd say anything that makes for unhappy children also makes for an attack of mommy guilt! :-)
February 23, 2010 at 1:00 PM
Pat Tillett said…
I gave guilt up for Lent.
It always seemed to get in the way.
February 23, 2010 at 2:29 PM
Lillian Robinson said…
I feel guilty for feeling guilty! If we are writers, we must write.
February 23, 2010 at 2:33 PM
DL Hammons said…
Your husband can use the bonding time and your child will be better adjusted because of it. Also, there has to be time for you!

How's that for rationalization?
February 23, 2010 at 3:43 PM
Lisa Miles said…
Good, it sounds like I'm not alone here:)

DL, I like you're thinking!
February 23, 2010 at 4:51 PM
Jennifer said…
My three year old does the same thing Tamika's does. She then tells me she has a plug in her room for my computer.

But I make sure I have time for her everyday. Not all day, mind you. But a large portion of every day is devoted to her.
February 23, 2010 at 5:08 PM
Anonymous said…
I feel guilty for breathing some days. (Because you know, I could be taking air away from someone else or something.) I once met a woman who said she never feels guilt for anything. I've never been so jealous in my life.
February 23, 2010 at 6:43 PM
Leah (aka Mary_not_Martha) said…
I felt guilty today when I was sitting in my son's class for an hour of kid's reading to me when I realized I had not read with my younger son in two days and he's the one I stay home with all day. I feel guilty for helping others when I should be helping my own kids.
February 23, 2010 at 7:04 PM
Lisa Miles said…
I'm feeling guilty right now. Even though I spent the day with my son, we ate dinner together, I gave him a bath and we just played Star Wars Legos (that I built for him), I hear him crying downstairs b/c it's my 1/2 of writing time:(
February 23, 2010 at 7:35 PM
Elizabeth Mueller said…
Awww! I know what you mean!! I've been steering clear from writing while my kids are around.

But I've talked with my friend, Jenni, who is a major, I mean MAJOR go getter. She is pregnant and has six kids underfoot and she told me she finished editing a book in 12 days.

Can you believe that? I asked her how she did that. She told me that she edited during the day and wrote fresh at night when they were all abed.

I'm trying to follow her example cuz I know it doesn't require much brain power to edit.

But, to answer your question, I do feel guilty when I put my writing first cuz I feel that family is and should always come first. ;)
February 23, 2010 at 11:28 PM
lisa and laura said…
Mommy guilt is the worst, isn't it? I always try to remind myself that a happy mom is a good mom. Seriously. We all need a break.
February 23, 2010 at 11:56 PM
Christine Danek said…
Ditto to what you said. I feel so bad when I am on the computer doing what I love and my kids are begging for attention. I'm trying to split my time and do my work at night but then the hubby wants attention too. So many decisions. That is my guilt trip.
February 24, 2010 at 7:07 AM
Carrie Harris said…
Yeah, I know that feeling! But then I remind myself that having a happy, well balanced mama is good for my kids too.

Sometimes, I even listen to me. Not all the time, but sometimes. :)
February 24, 2010 at 12:12 PM
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