Do You Spank Your Kids?

-
I've had two different people ask me this in the past week, and I was curious what other parents did. Growing up my brother and I were spanked, quiet often as I remember (but I'm sure I deserved it). We got hit with anything from a hand, a wooden spoon, a switch (thin stick), and a ping-pong paddle. (By the way, it's never a good idea to put a hard cover book in your pants before getting hit by your mom's hand. That only results in her sending your dad in.)

Before I became a parent I never had a doubt that I would spank my kids. I figured I turned out reasonably okay, so what was the harm? But I changed my mind once we had kids. As a foster parent, we're not allowed to spank foster kids, so that settled that. But once we adopted our now four year old son and we could (legally) spank him if we wanted, I just couldn't do it.

I don't think I could bring myself to ever hurt him physically, no matter how angry he made me...especially when I'm angry. That feels worse, like I'd be taking it out on him. I look at him and he's so little and innocent (though not always so innocent!), and I just couldn't imagine hurting him like that.

I'm not saying it's wrong for others to spank. Obviously everyone has their own opinions on the subject. Like I said, I grew up getting spanked and turned out okay. It's just not for us. We've been using the 1-2-3 method and I've never gotten past number 1. The result would be time-out, but that hasn't happened in months. I think we're very lucky because our son is a really good boy and listens well. I don't know how much of that is his personality, and how much is our parenting, but that doesn't mean we'll be so lucky next kid.

How do you deal with punishment, or feel about spanking?

Comments

Pat Tillett said…
You know my background Lisa. Having been hit with many things far more damaging than the ones you mentioned, I never spanked my kids.
I learned later that it's all about balance. I'm not saying that spanking is good or bad. I just wish that I hadn't been so closed to the idea...

good and thought provoking post Lisa!
November 22, 2010 at 7:22 PM
Mara McBain said…
I was spanked plenty as a child .. hand, belt, paddle , and yes ... ping pong paddle once lol ... and I turned out fine. We've only spanked our son a hand full of times in his 13 years. *shrugs* It depends on the parents and the child. Everyone has to decide what works for them.
November 22, 2010 at 8:38 PM
Shannon O'Donnell said…
I don't spank my kids. I think there are other (better) ways to handle punishment. My father did spank me as a child, though.
November 23, 2010 at 11:19 AM
Anonymous said…
I am 15 boy so I have no kids. I get spanked a lot, my parents are very strict but in a godly way. I get it with the belt or cane always on bare bottom and hard enough to leave marks for some days.
But I am thankful to them to punish me.
Micky
November 26, 2010 at 1:22 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Name is Lisa and I Write Crap

-
Image
I used to be so afraid of writing something horrible, that I wouldn't write anything at all. I'd have a half-hour or so to myself and instead of getting as much down as I could, I'd type, delete, retype and delete again. I had to have perfect sentences formed from perfect ideas. It didn't work. It took me years to finally learn to just write anything. Even if it's crap (and it usually is first time around). But I'm finally OK with writing a crappy first draft. If it's still crap when I'm done, well, that's another problem all together. I used to think, What if I died tomorrow and my family found this notebook full of god-awful first drafts? They'd think I was a terrible writer! If I can write only awesome sentences, they'll realize what talent I had and be sorry they didn't take more interest in my amazing stories... or something like that. Anyway, now when I start writing a story (whether it's a novel or a screenplay) I just ...
Read more

Yet Another Embarrassing Confession (you would think I'd have run out by now)

-
The absolute worst part about being a writer for me is grammar and punctuation. With every post I put up, every email I send and every story I write, I am waiting for someone to come back to me and say, "Seriously? How can a writer not know where to put commas?" Commas are my enemy. I have no clue where they go. I try to put them where I think would be a natural pause in a sentence, but I know I'm usually wrong. I basically toss them up in the air willy-nilly and let them land where they want. Can you recommend a grammar/punctuation book that is easy to understand? (I never took a "real" English class in high school, so I'm starting fresh). The Elements of Style is too...sterile for me. I need something I can easily grasp onto. I'd greatly appreciate any, suggestions. (<< that comma was a joke. See, at least I can joke about my ignorance)
Read more

Out of the Closet in 1st Grade

-
I went to #30 school for first grade. Every morning I walked by myself down Otis Street to the school. There were always a bunch of kids outside the door waiting to get in. The older mature (10 years old) security guards wore their safety belts guarding the doors. No one was getting past them until it was time to go in. One morning when I got to the doors there was no one there. Not one kid was outside. I was super late. Or so I thought. I ran through the doors and down to my first grade classroom. It was completely empty. I wasn't late, I was early. Instead of going back outside to wait for other kids to show up, like a normal person, I decided to climb into the coat closet and sit on the floor and wait. I don't know how long I waited in the dark on the floor, but eventually I heard kids coming into the room. I nonchalantly slid the closet door open, stepped out, hung up my coat and sat down. If I looked suspicious, no one ever said anything.
Read more