I Wish I Could Make Friends Like a 4 Year Old

This morning I took my four year old son, Joey, to the library. I wanted to get two YA novels and they have a big room for kids to play in.

When we got in the play room, I knew we wouldn't be in there long. Joey has separation anxiety issues that stem way back from being in foster care. If I even bring up the word "school" to him, he gets teary-eyed and panics. He doesn't like to be away from me unless it's with other family members. Forget leaving him anywhere like with a babysitter, preschool or any other activity like that.

The play room at the library had tons of kids in it, and I knew immediately Joey was uncomfortable. The only way he'd play is to have me right by his side. I sat on the floor and started flipping through the books I'd found. He wanted to play with a toy other kids were playing with, but didn't want to go near them. After about five minutes of coaxing, he finally leaned over (they were right next to us) and grabbed a figure from the toy. Still, he just sat on my lap and played with that, he wouldn't move. Until...

He noticed the little boy next to use was being read a Star Wars book by his mom. Joey stared at the boy (also 4) until the boy turned around. This was their conversation:

Boy: Look mom, he's got a Star Wars shirt on.
Joey: And I have Star Wars socks, too.
Boy: I have the Star Wars video game.
Joey: I have the Star Wars video game and Star Wars Legos.
Boy: I have the Legos too. What bad guys do you get in the video game?
Joey: I'm Obi-Wan and I kill...(I tuned out at this point--I know nothing about Star Wars).

But those two little four year olds talked for fifteen minutes all about Star Wars...levels they've beaten on the game, Legos they have, books, and what happens in the movies. This was a huge step for Joey. First of all, he has speech delays, so the fact that he carried on this long conversation (and the boy understood him!) was amazing. And the fact that he formed a little friendship on his own was wonderful to watch. He's normally afraid of other kids and won't talk to them.

40 & Fearless

My cyber-friend, Angela, came up with this amazing idea, and I'm gonna steal it. In this 40th year of my life, I want to do (at least) 40 things that I wouldn't normally do. Maybe because I've been scared, it's something I haven't done in a long time, I feel stupid doing it or I'm just plain lazy (most likely the last one).

I don't have many things in mind just yet, but I'm opening myself up to anything and everything this year.

The only thing I know I really want to try is....ready?....skateboarding. There's a little park here in Gates that has the skateboard ramps and I really want to try it. Mike thinks I'll break something, but I still want to do it. And I will.

My list so far since turning 40:

1. I redid a room by myself. A few weeks ago I painted walls and furniture, and ripped a carpet out of a spare room.

2. Today I started to run again.

...that's all I have so far. But it's a start!

Books I'm Embarrassed to Read

I figured if I think this way, others must too. At least, thinking that makes me feel better. There are a few authors whose books I am slightly embarrassed, as a writer, to be caught reading:

• Janet Evanovich--Don't get me wrong, I love Stephanie Plum, but it's just the same story over and over.
• Danielle Steel--I haven't read one of her books in years, but I used to devour them. Soon I saw certain patterns--like whenever a main female character felt sick to her stomach, she was pregnant.
• Lauren Conrad--Since I'm working on a YA novel, I've been reading YA like crazy. Last week I bought LA Candy by her. I figured it was a best seller (as is her new book), so I should see what the fuss is about. I hate it. The only think keeping me reading it is the fact that I paid for it.

What books or authors are you embarrassed to read?

Look What We Found

We tackled another house project today and were excited with what we found. When we moved in, a neighbor pointed out from outside that behind the pine above our fireplace were windows. Today my dad removed the pine and we found leaded windows with beautiful gumwood trim (not painted!). Here are the before and after shots:

 We still need to fix the trim around them (and by we I mean my dad). I wish the rest of the gumwood was unpainted like this.

Why I Dress Like Crap? (No, really, why?)

My husband and I have owned a house cleaning business for almost nine years. Somewhere deep down I must feel like that gives me a great excuse to dress like crap most days. Which makes me feel like crap, knowing I don't look good. I have about six or seven junkie tshirts that I wear to work: one is a tye-dye from Conesus Lake, a few have random slogans on them and the rest are just plain.

Now, I have an entire closet filled (and I mean filled) with nice clothes that I'm saving for sometime special. This is actually an older picture on the left. I have shirts, jeans, capris and summer dresses in there now with the tags still on. And, yet, every day I chose to dress like crap in jeans and baggy tshirts with my hair in a ponytail. I admit part of me is worried I'll get my nicer clothes dirty, but so what? We do have a washer. And it's not like anything in my closet cost more than $30 anyway.

I know my writer friends on here will understand this, but I have tons of notebooks that are too nice for me to even write in. So, if I'm not going to write in them, why did I buy them? Because I want to write in them.

And I'm not just like this about clothes and notebooks, but about everything. I have loads of body lotions, shower gels, body sprays, hair accessorries (I know I spelled that wrong) and make-up that I almost never use because it's for sometime special.

Well, the special time has come. I'm getting rid of my baggy, crummy tshirts and I'm going to start dressing how I want to look everyday: put-together and non-mommy-like. What did I rack up my Old Navy and Target credit cards for if I'm not going to wear all the cute outfits I bought? Why am I growing my hair long if I'm going to put it up in a ponytail everyday? Why buy Mary Kay makeup and put so little on my husband asks, "Are you sick, you look pale?"

Starting in about an hour. Right now I have to run to Walmart to buy shower soap so I can take a shower and get out of my jeans and tye-dye.

I Finally Get It!

You'd think after years of writing and reading fiction, I would have put this together sooner. But I finally figured out why it's important to read a ton of YA now that I'm working on a YA novel.

I used to think I didn't want to read anything resembling my story because I didn't want it to influence me. But now I see how wrong I was.

In the past three days, I've read three novels. Three! I read two Sara Zarr books (Sweethearts and Story of a Girl), and Lisa Schroeder's I Heart You, You Haunt Me.  This last one I read in an hour and a half today. It's written in verse so it was a quick read, but very good.

I have learned more in the past three days from those books about writing for YA, than I have from any writing book on YA. I've learned about pacing, characters and plotting.

I have a list of books I want to check out of the library next. I can't wait.

To Tell or Not To Tell

I was standing in the pharmacy line today at Super Walmart and knew the question was coming. As always, it starts out simple enough.

They glance at my four year old son, Joey, and say, "He's adorable, how old?"

"Four," I say, feeling her stare from him to me. She's wondering, Is her husband black? Did she adopt?

"Is he your only one?" she asks.

"Yes," I say, keeping it short. Please leave me alone and let me wait in line to get my Advil Cold and Sinus so I can feel better.

"Is he adopted?" she pushes.

"Yes," I say. "Last August."

Now is the hard part. Foster care will teach you not to say you have foster kids (especially in front of the kids). I totally understand this and would never want to make a child feel like he wasn't part of our family. However, we take only babies and I'm proud of the fact that we're foster parents.

More often than not people will confess they've always wanted to be a foster parent but didn't know how to go about it.

Or they'll just comment that they could never give a child back, like I'm cold-hearted and actually enjoy doing it.

If I don't explain that we're foster/adoptive parents I feel like I'm not promoting it (there are tons of kids who need homes).  And if I do explain, I usually get nervous and feel like over-explaining and giving out too much information. People always want to know my son's background and that's not something I want to share with strangers.

This is something I struggle with all the time. And now that my son is getting older, I don't ever want to embarrass him out in public or make him think I'm not extremely proud of him being our son.

Does Anybody Else Do This, Or Am I Embarrassed All By Myself?

When making a few short films last year, I found it helped to have actors in mind when writing the scripts. Now that I'm working on my first YA novel, I've discovered the same technique is helpful.

Over the last few months I've brainstormed my characters and put together a story photo board. I finished it last week and I'm very happy with it. I have all of my character's photos plus things that mean something to them or to the story. Here's a picture of what I created:

It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to start on my next story to do it again:)

Finished the Baby's Room-Before & After Pics

I finished my first solo house project. My husband isn't much help with doing stuff inside the house, but he's great working in the yard and garage. Here are some before and after pictures. You can't see the horrible brown shag carpet I ripped out.

Here are some before and after pictures of our basement. The first two pictures are taken from the same spot:

Also, I've found a new author that I LOVE: Sara Zarr. I read Story of a Girl in less than 24 hours and I'm a quarter of the way through Sweetheart.

Can't Stop a Readin'

Since I started this blog a few months ago, I've read a ton of books. Way more than I did all of last year. I like the process after finishing a book of adding it to Goodreads.  It makes me feel as if I've accomplished something. Part of it, I think, is that I believe I've found my writing niche with YA (these are the books I've been devouring).

I just finished Lauren Myracle's Kissing Kate. I started by reading her middle grade books (Eleven and Twelve) that I bought at a library sale. I liked her style and found she writes YA, also. I like her simple style, mainly because I always felt like I wrote in the same simple way.

Today I found Sara Zarr's Story of a Girl at the library. Can't wait to get into that one tonight!

Putzin Around the House Day

We got so much done around our house today. I started painting the nursery. It was a pinkish-peach color and I'm painting it yellow. I have one coat on and I'll finish tomorrow.

Then I couldn't wait to see what was under the ugly shag carpet so I started ripping that up. There are beautiful hardwoods underneath. I'm sure that's what's under most of the house so I can't wait to get all of the carpet up eventually. My hubby mowed the lawn for the first time and we did a lot of odd jobs around the house. Now we're going out to dinner.

I have pictures to post of the nursery, but I can't get it to work for some reason. If you really want to see you can become my friend on Facebook...I have them on there:) My name on FB is Lisa Marie Ciurca Miles.

Already Behind

I don't know what I was thinking signing up for YA Frenzy (100 pages in 30 days). Yesterday was the first day and I did get my three pages in, but today I didn't. We were out of the house all morning and my husband had a window guy come for an estimate. He was here 3 1/2 hours and quoted us $47,000! Then he wouldn't leave. We were starving and left to go out to dinner at 7:30. Just got home and it's after 9:00. We have my husband's aunt spending the whole weekend with us and we have plans for Easter dinner on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm just feeling discouraged today about writing. Why is it I leave my writing as the very last priority on my to-do list? In a perfect world I'd write every day. I don't even care what I write, just that I do it. But I almost never do. It feels next to impossible.

Plus, I'm planning on homeschooling our four year old son, which really means no time to myself. AND we're going to start fostering babies again soon. What am I doing to myself?

I hope tomorrow is better.

Character Names

Ok, I have some rare writing time for myself right now (to start YA Frenzy) and I'm writing a post instead. Do you feel the love?

I was thinking today about character names and how writers come up with them. It seems like most writers like to sneak a peek into how other writers do things, so I thought I'd share how I do it.

Actually, I don't have much of a process, so I hope I'm not getting your hopes up too high. My big trick is to flip through a baby names book. I usually know what letter the name should start with. Sometimes I go by meaning of the name, but I mostly just keep scrolling until I find something that I positively know fits my characters.

Last names can be tough. A great place to search out surnames is a cemetary. Where I usually go though is here for my surnames. Like first names, I have an idea of what letter I want it to start with and just search until I find something I like.

Naming my characters is one of my favorite parts of beginning a new story. What's your character naming process?